Jul 5, 2008

If HR people went on strike

Scott has a funny post on his blog, which also gives some serious food for thought:

On the ground, employers were really beginning to feel the pinch as senior management attempted to cover the void left by their missing HR departments for yet another week. 'We just have no idea which of the first-aid kits are fully stocked,' confided a director of one major corporation. 'And we are already more than a month late on our annual office chair audit. If things continue like this, who knows, I could lose half of my staff to repetitive strain injury. Or whatever it is they monitor.'

However a spokesman for the union was in defiant mood. 'This is only the beginning' he threatened. 'Just wait until people realise that their holiday forms are not being signed off, or that performance appraisals haven't been sent out. Employers will be crawling back to us on their knees soon enough'.

At noon yesterday the Prime Minister gave the go-ahead for the army to be sent in to provide emergency cover, and teams of soldiers were rapidly deployed at key points in personnel departments around the country. 'We have some paratroopers stationed in the office by the photocopier' said one secretary. 'I went to get some advice on an equal opportunities training course I'm interested in and they just made obscene comments about my breasts.'

The HR strike, now entering its tenth week, has resulted in a UK-wide loss of efficiency of 0.0003%, or £1.27. Striking HR professionals have been advising themselves on whether they are 'working from home' or taking annual leave. 'My biggest problem is that I can never remember if I am getting time-off-in-lieu for picketing or not', said one striker. 'But when I ring myself up for advice I'm not there.'

Is HR strategic in your organization?

The answer can be found if you ask yourself "If the HR group disappeared from my organization what would the business miss us most for?"