"Is work life balance that difficult to maintain?" I asked.
"Oh, work life imbalance has got nothing to do with it. Too much temptation"
Penelope Trunk speaks about how business trips with co-workers is a time when such temptations can find expression.
But if you’re married with children, a business trip is like an escape to Disney Land. There are no kids to feed and bathe. There’s no husband for annoying talks about checkbook balances and the next day’s school lunch. There is only freedom and fun. And what does anyone want to do with freedom and fun except have sex?
And dare I add, off-site training also is a major breeding (no pun intended!) ground of office romances.
A friend who heads recruiting for a large consulting firm was telling me how recent MBAs that he is interviewing, specially from the 2003-04 vintage seem to be have a much higher divorce rate.
Guess people today are married more to their careers than their spouses. The situation is more acute for couples who are both driven career people. Often when one is required to move to a different role in a different city/country the other is unwilling to compromise. Of course, why should they. Both invest a majority of the day and the weekend often for the sake of their careers. Most likely they also have office spouses, whom they spend more time than they do with their real spouse !
As Penelope says:
thirty-two percent of people feel like they are married to their co-workers, and in fact, people do better work when they have this sort of relationship with a co-worker. So it’s not that big a leap to cross the great divide and suggest a rendez-vous while you’re in a grand hotel.
Unfortunately too many employers don't recommend that employees get married, although that is changing in the IT and BPO industries to a large degree. I believe that is a much better thing.
Oops ! Just realised that I posted this on Valentine's day !
GG,
ReplyDeleteGuess what? In the HR & OB class, we are taught to deal with sexual harassment cases..perhaps, next year's batch will deal with the
office romances too !"It's been estimated as many as one-third of all romantic relationships begin in the workplace!" Aha
Check out this article
http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/financialpost/fpweekend/story.html?id=558dcc7b-abda-4f01-ab78-152e5315d5ec
One of my personal curiosities regarding consulting is how consultants maintain sound relationships. Until this point, I could not really find any information or perspectives to answer this question. FYI, this response I’m about to type does not by any means indicate I agree with Ghosh’s view. That said, on February 14, 2007, Gautam Ghosh (you) aptly posted an entry about workplace infidelity, “Office Romance (http://gauteg.blogspot.com/2007/02/office-romances.html).” Deriving your information from “India’s largest BPO employer” and Penelope Trunk’s blog, you described the tendencies and reasons for high divorce rate among professionals, including consultants.
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not Bing, but perhaps Jing was right about his statistics (I’m talking to myself). My friend, Jing, on several occasions expressed his concern over the high rates of infidelity in business school. This may be directly relevant to the content of this entry since b-school somewhat simulates the workplace in respect to close proximities to the opposite sex, demanding workload, and long hours spent away from home.
"Guess people today are married more to their careers than their spouses. The situation is more acute for couples who are both driven career people. Often when one is required to move to a different role in a different city/country the other is unwilling to compromise. Of course, why should they. Both invest a majority of the day and the weekend often for the sake of their careers. Most likely they also have office spouses, whom they spend more time than they do with their real spouse!
As Penelope says:
thirty-two percent of people feel like they are married to their co-workers, and in fact, people do better work when they have this sort of relationship with a co-worker. So it’s not that big a leap to cross the great divide and suggest a rendez-vous while you’re in a grand hotel.
Unfortunately too many employers don't recommend that employees get married, although that is changing in the IT and BPO industries to a large degree. I believe that is a much better thing."
This is an utter generalization! I believe that two people can be wholly immersed in their careers in the business arena and come home to a loving household! The problem is that those who divorce did not have a strong enough foundation to begin with. If a couple divorces from insubstantial reasons such as career differences, then the problem isn’t a conflict of professional interest. The problem is that those who divorce did not have a strong enough foundation to begin with. Lacking a solid core in a relationship will inevitably lead to divorce. Constant communication, integrity, and absolute compatibility are integral parts to a solid relationship—otherwise, it’s doomed to fail. Why? Imagine the multitude of uncontrollable circumstances, inevitable events, or unpredictable situations one may encounter in a lifetime. Now tell me Mr. Ghosh if there is any room for “mistakes” or “oopsies” if a couple maintains consistently, clear communication, integrity, and absolute compatibility.
On the flip side--apparently, an extraordinary quality hardly prevalent in modern-day society is integrity. Based on personal experience, infidelity has become a trend, especially within the Hollywood vicinity, among a multitude of social circles, even religious ones! Integrity is key. Without it, you’re prone to “oopsies” and “uh-ohs” or “I-don’t-give-a-hoots.” With it, you’re golden.
Do companies use this as a retention trick :)? I heard from one of my friend that a pair leaving a company is with lesser possibility.
ReplyDelete